We've all been there: six weeks of rigorous dieting, all ruined by the sugar-paste encrusted morsels at cousin Jill's wedding. But what is today's bride to do? Is it possible to have the wedding cake of your dreams while still showing consideration to your dieting guests?
Yes, it is!
Introducing the Cake Head Diet Aid!
That's right, folks, just place the professionally decorated Cake Head Diet Aid alongside your wedding cake. It's that easy! In addition to being a delicious red velvet groom's cake, the Cake Head Diet Aid will effectively dissuade all but your most ravenous and/or non-squeamish of guests from indulging in the gut-busting baked goods. Guaranteed!
Here's what our happy customers are saying about the Cake Head Diet Aid:
"The children ran screaming - no sugar buzzed hellions at the reception! Thank you, Cake Head Diet Aid!"
"Never have I wanted to eat cake less. Just the thought of your product has kept me up nights, and I've lost over 15 pounds!"
"When my husband said the wrong name at the altar, I was ready to kill him. Slicing into the Cake Head Diet Aid, however, helped me vent enough of that murderous rage to make it to the annulment. And the jam filling - oh, that was the best part!"
As a bonus, your Cake Head Diet Aid is completely customizable! From football helmets to sunglasses, iPod earbuds to nose rings, you can make your Cake Head Diet Aid the spitting image of your husband-to-be while incorporating his favorite hobbies!
So girls, be kind to your guest's waistlines while giving your guy his just desserts: order the Cake Head Diet Aid today!
Michelle D., I bet these work great at birthdays, too.
Tonight was a busy day. Two meetings and work, zipping up to Portsmouth for a meeting of the Puddle Dock Chapter of the NE Suffrage Association. Many plots were plotted. Hee! Can't wait until July 1st. This should be fun. And then drove home for my 9:00 p.m. meeting with Bribane.
And now, to bed. *yawns*
As you can see, last night I did sew again, inserting a long and somewhat wavy triangle into the sleeve seam. (I actually had to piece the triangle in one as well ಠ_ಠ) It's still a little tight at the end of the seam, so I might cut a tiny bit into the triangle and hem that along with the rest of the opening. Tonight: hemming the opening, making piped cuffs, sewing them to the sleeve along with the trim pieces. Tomorrow night: setting the sleeve into the armscye. Friday night: Putting lining on the neckline bands, adding hooks and eyes, trying on and having a meltdown when it won't fit (I assume).
One of the hottest new trends in weddings today is the cherry blossom wedding cake:
This elegant design not only looks beautiful, but is a cinch to make, too! In fact, here are a few tips to ensure your own cherry blossom cake looks as gorgeous as this.
First, always make sure your icing is niiiice and smooth.
It helps if you lick your fingers first, so they slide smoothly over the icing.
Next, mold or pipe your branches to gracefully scale the tiers of your cake in a natural, realistic fashion.
I know it's hard to believe but, yes, that's really just icing.
Remember, the flowers are the most important part!
It's usually best to leave off a wedding topper for this style, but if you do choose to have one, make sure it's simple, understated, and elegant.
Note the baker's restraint. Not a single balloon animal!
And finally, when all else fails, remember:
You can always jam a stick in it and charge $200.
(Yes, this was someone's actual wedding cake.)
(And they paid for it.)
Leanne W., Danielle L., Moxie, Holly J., and Robert V. did you know you can make a forty dollar cake look like a 500 dollar cake with just some cookies and sprinkles? Just imagine what you could charge if you jammed a stick in it!
And from my other blog, Epbot:
If I ever need to break myself of the bad habit if staying up WAAAAAY too late farting around on the internet, all I have to do is go to Europe for a week.
Since I've been back I've been almost dozing off in the Comfy Chair once it's past 9:00, and been in bed and completely zonked out by 10:00 every night. Which means I've also been easily waking up around 6:00 or 6:30. Miraculous!
And to think, all I had to do was go to Europe for a week to reset my circadian rhythms back to where I wanted them to be!
Yesterday a couple of you posted this on the Cake Wrecks' Facebook page:
I'll give you a moment.
Now, I have no idea where it came from, but that's not gonna stop me from jumping on this hilariously traumatizing bandwagon!
And my personal favorite:
"Boop-oop-aSWEET MOTHER OF HECK."
Now just one more, because laugh you must.
THERE IS NO TRY.
Thanks to Maya O., Amanda S., Crystal G., Kellie C., & Hannah G. for using the forks.
Everyone is posting things about Horse and Falcon (big event this weekend) and Lilies War (Calontir's week-long camping event). I feel so left out. I know I'm being sensible, recognizing my current physical and financial limitations, AND I'm spending the time (especially during Lilies) working on SCA things, so I'm still participating, but that doesn't help me feel included in the fun.
I have a private joke with myself now that my true persona must be that of a ninja. Between all the moving around I've done, changing persona, wearing different garb from various countries and eras, and people almost never recognizing me or remembering that we've met--well, there's only one explanation! I must be a shinobi, and a superb one at that!
So beware! Ki no Kotori, Calontir Kunoichi! ;-D
I just wanna tell you that you suck. I will never forgive you for what you did to me, you piece of crap. ASSHOLE! Do not you dare to talk to me again. Believe me, you don't wanna see my other side, ask your goddamn sister, she has seen it.
I've seen a couple of e-mails like this so far. I guess the idea is that I'm supposed to reply and beg for forgiveness because I'm a nice person?
This time it's a double (triple?) whammy. Away for a week. In another time zone for that week away. And time travelling to the 16th century at the reenactment last weekend.
I just feel oddly here and not-here, both at the same time.
32. Caszandra, Andrea K. Host (e)
31. Lab Rat One, Andrea K. Host (e)
30. Stray, Andrea K. Host (e)
29. The Cat Who Turned On and Off, Lillian Jackson Braun (read aloud w/Steve)
28. Apprentice in Death, J.D. Robb (e/l)
27. The Cat Who Ate Danish Modern, Lillian Jackson Braun (read aloud w/Steve)
26. The Face in the Frost, John Bellairs (e)
25. Hanged for a Sheep, Frances and Richard Lockridge (e)
24. Xamnesia, Lizzie Harwood (e)
23. Convergence, C. J. Cherryh, (read aloud with Steve)
22. Rock Addiction, Nalini Singh (e)
21. The Stranger in the Woods, Michael Finkel
20. Etched in Bone, Anne Bishop (e)
19. Rider at the Gate, CJ Cherryh (re-read)
18. Small Gods, Terry Pratchett (read aloud w/Steve)
17. Silence Fallen, Patricia Briggs (e)
16. The Cold Eye, Laura Anne Gilman
15. The Cat Who Could Read Backwards, Lillian Jackson Braun (read aloud w/Steve)
14. Memory, Linda Nagata (e)
13. Bonita Faye, Margaret Moseley (e)
12. Burn for Me, Ilona Andrews (e)
11. Snuff, Terry Pratchett (read aloud w/Steve)
10. A Taste of Honey, Kai Ashante Wilson (e)
9. Some Danger Involved, Will Thomas
8. Thud!, Terry Pratchett (read aloud w/Steve)
7. White Tiger, Kylie Chan
6. The Hanging Tree, Ben Aaronovitch
5. Trading in Danger, Elizabeth Moon (e)
4. The Wolf in the Attic, Paul Kearney (e)
3. The Cat Who Saw Red, Lillian Jackson Braun (read aloud w/Steve)
2. Inside the Texas Chicken Ranch: The Definitive Account of the Best Little Whorehouse, Jayme Lynn Blaschke (e)
1. Sand of Bone, Blair MacGregor (e)